Still journeying...

At this time of the year we are all talking of the journey. Joseph and Mary went to Bethelehem. The Shepherds found their way across town to the stable. The wise men started their trip from the east. Eventually Joseph and Mary would head to Egypt. In each case the cause of the journey was clear: To Bethlehem for taxes, to the stable for worship, to Judea for adoration, to Egypt for safety. Some causes were mundane, others sublime.

Our journey is set right now in the context of this more eternal and historical journey. Ours seems mundane, and slowly we are getting used to the idea that changes we are experiencing in the journey are changes that would come in some form or another with time anyway. There are the body changes. Yes, those are profound, painful, unpleasant. But some of them would have come in time anyway. Our bodies wear out, they don't function the same. My knees are stiff with arthritis, I pick up things with two hands that formerly I managed easily with one. And our sexual body parts eventually change too. So the journey was a little ahead of what we might have expected some years ago. Of course some journeys, when taken for a longer time are actually more pleasant ☺

Deb finished her course of "chemo" applications last week. What a relief to be able to walk without discomfort--talk about joy in the journey! And then she had another appointment that showed more redness and itching on the other side NOT related to the chemo application—it probably needs biopsy. Anxiety in the journey.

Research and conversation with the plethora of doctors has revealed that the Pagets can easily spread to every adjacent gynecological body part. Considering that the surgery did not give any clear (negative) margins, this probably means that there has been a spreading action for some time. Uncertainty in the journey.

It does not appear that there is much more we can do about any of this. Although Pagets is the “early warning sign” of cancer, there has been no underlying cancer found. God is able to keep it that way. Hope in the journey.

Behold, the old becomes new

You have waited a long time to see if we are alive! You have wondered if we are finished with our "redemption house"? Well, we are alive, and as you can see we are a long way off from finishing the redemption project. The flooring project is half finished on the third floor. Then we have the kitchen to put in. The second floor has the floor to start, and then the kitchen. The first floor has the flooring to start and then the kitchen....so we have a long way to go. But the ugly frame walls are now covered with sheetrock. The wiring, plumbing, heating and insulation are all done.

And Jesse has not had to haul Karl off to the hospital for more medical reviews for seizures, but the medications have been changed now three times. Perhaps this one will be right. One made me mad, another sad, another gave me a skin rash.

Debbie has started the medication that was being researched at Sloan-Kettering, but we are not in that program so we don't have to travel to NYC. The medication's immediate impact is not pleasant--itching, burning and pain. So far with three weeks into the three month journey it is being tolerated with some difficult-to-sleep nights.

So, as you look at the pictures, imagine and pray for new faces from all over the world that might be living in one or more of these apartments (a one, a two, and a three-bedroom apartment). New spaces, new faces from new places. New places, new opportunities to redirect our thoughts.

OK tell me, is it really so bad that one way of dealing with unpleasantness and pain is to be busy with good things that the bad and the ugly fade a bit from our attention? Redemption requires a lot of unpleasant moments--but to see new hope, new directions, and new life come out of the old means that we can't stop with the pain.

The next month for Karl is in Manilla. Debbie carries on in Baltimore. Her next surgery is the 17th of November. Stay tuned--or stop by and help her plant flowers in the yard or Jesse put some oak flooring down :)

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

...Those words are now relegated to old movies that portray a society that read newspapers sold on the corner by men or boys. Things still work that way in Nairobi. But here we just want to talk about EXTRA.
Extra-mammary Paget's disease. It was diagnosed in Debbie on June 27. Operated on July 28. On August 6 we finally have the word that it was almost removed. So now we give....

EXTRA praise that no underlying cancer was found.
EXTRA care as we go ahead. The fact that the excision did not give "clear" margins was not a surprise. Deb will be followed closely every three months since the recurrence rate is high.
EXTRA special hospital. Her follow up will probably be done at Memorial Sloan-Kettering in NY city--a hospital dedicated to cancer treatment. They have state of the art treatment and
EXTRA ordinary clinical trial that provides a cream treatment rather than surgery for recurring Pagets.
EXTRA provision has been granted by our insurance company to cover the cost of a hospital outside our area.
EXTRA grace will be received as we continue to navigate these paths unknown to us.
EXTRA love has been poured out on us from many friends who have visited, communicated and even sent flowers. It shows us that
EXTRA prayer has been offered to the Lord for us, and we feel buoyed by that prayer.
EXTRA thanks are due to all you who have stood with us.

Waiting

Waiting. Ever think how much of life is spent waiting? You can loose hours of your life waiting for your television program to start again while you wait for the advertisements to finish. In our opinion you can loose days of your life by watching the programs to start with. A recent visitor was amazed that Deb did not have a television to entertain her in the bedroom while she waited.

Waiting for the healing to continue. Wait for the pathology report. Wait for me to bring her lunch. Wait for the next phone call. Wait for the mail so she could open wonderful cards. Wait for the email to read encouraging words of prayer and confidence.

We waited together for the surgery to start on Monday, and it finally did even if two and a half hours late. Then I hardly waited for the surgeons to tell me their opinion of the results--they were happy and both were finished in only 45 minutes. Then I waited for Deb to wake from the anesthesia--which was a rather mild one this time. And we waited together for another hour to be sure everything was OK before going home.

So our waiting is for many things. The Psalmist in Psalm 130 talks of the waiting that is good for our souls:
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
6 my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
7 O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption.
8 And he will redeem Israel
from all his iniquities.

Join us in waiting for His hope and His answers. It will be worth it!

and on...

OK you have checked and nothing new is here. You know that life isn't static so you wonder why?

The bottom line is that I lack inspiration. We are heading into a darker zone than we left.

We were with Ben and Andrew this week at his farm outside Syracuse. (He came back for his sister's wedding with Andrew and we took the moment to go see them). The night was stormy and thick clouds covered the moon and stars. We went to bed and I couldn't see a thing--rather unlike Baltimore where the darkest night has plenty of street lights and security lights shining in the window. In the middle of the night the thunder rolled and the lightening lit the room as if the switch were thrown.

Well, there it is. A dark night. Yeah we get them too. Surgery is Monday, we don't have any idea what to expect.

I enjoyed the storm of lightning and thunder. It has always been for me the voice of the Almighty reminding me that He holds the heavens and earth, they shake at His command, they become still by his voice.

I should have been listening, but my head was buried I guess.

The journey goes on...

Rare adj
1. not often happening or found
2. particularly interesting or valuable, especially to collectors or scholars, because only a few exist
3. unusually great or excellent
4. thin in density and containing so little oxygen that breathing is difficult


Our journey goes on. It is a rare journey in all the meanings listed above.

You know as we do that Paget’s disease of the nipple is not often found. I suppose that makes it of particular interest to the medical community.

But suppose that Deb had not just one form of Pagets disease but two? In that event, then God’s grace would have to be unusually great, and we would be left a bit winded.

So it is and so we are.

Tuesday Debbie went for a second biopsy for a lesion that we have been watching for a number of months now. There had been some other tests and treatments but nothing really made it better. Hence the biopsy. Three deep conical excisions removed from three areas that should have represented the center, the edge and normal tissue. All came back with a positive confirmation of gynecological Paget’s disease. Debbie learned the results on Thursday and phoned me. I was in Los Angeles on my way to Indonesia. So here it is:

Gynecological Paget’s disease is an extremely rare form of abnormal cells that are either a precursor to cancer or indicate an underlying cancer. There is no relationship between the breast cancer Paget’s disease and this gynecological form. There are only four other known cases reported in medical literature of women with both. Deb will undergo a “wide excision” surgery to remove all the abnormal Paget’s cells along with a margin of safety and a sampling of lymph nodes in the groin. The pathology report will indicate the extent and staging of cancer, if in fact there is indication of cancer beyond the presence of the Paget’s cells. Her recovery period will be about three weeks. We will have a well renowned doctor who trained and works at Johns Hopkins in addition to Mercy Medical Center where she will have the surgery

Yes, I went on to Indonesia. You probably wonder why? Of course by the time I heard I was already 8 hours into the trip that lasted for about 42 hours. But that was not a reason to carry on. The reason to carry on is that in times of rare air, you have to carry on. If you are swimming at the bottom of a body of water you don’t stop swimming or you drown. If you are climbing Mt Everest you don’t stop or you freeze. So we decided to go on. The conference here is short, and my part is over by Wednesday. Perhaps I will be able to make an early return.

It is a unique moment here. Indonesia is the country with the largest Muslim population in the world. Significant violent conflict has occurred between Muslims and Christians here. As usual there is a history of significant conflict in the church among leaders. This conference begins with the government blessing, the Muslim community will be represented by a highly respected leader. Over forty denominations are already represented, and over 2300 attendees are here. The seminary dean is in my DMin program in Manila and has helped bring this gathering of church leaders, Indonesian missionaries, Muslim and national leaders to a conference on biblical peacemaking. This too is rare air.

Tuesday Debbie has an appointment with an unusually excellent doctor. He will advise and plan for a surgery sometime in the near future that will not only take the “wide excision” but attempt to redo some of the pelvic surgery that did not “take” six weeks ago. By the time I get back we should know when that might happen and what it might involve. Right now we are just holding our breath.

Genesis says that the Creator God exhaled into Adam the “breath of life”, and he lived. He lived to labor. He labored to show God’s glory. God’s glory was reflected in Adam’s love and obedience. It was even better reflected when God provided for redemption when Adam made the choice to sin. That sin infected the world and we now live in that infected world. But the Redeemer lives. He breathes into us the breath of life that neither Paget’s nor any other presence or power can take from us. That is rare air—nothing is greater or better. Breathe it with us.

7000 emails

7000 emails.

Actually probably about 7100 since there are some in my inbox for Debbie that she has not read yet.

If you have to manage a hefty email account you know what a burden that is. And it grows every day. So Deb went back to work this week and was dreading going in—you can understand why. Of course those emails had not all accumulated just from her time out for surgery and recovery.

Some have wondered why she doesn’t stay out longer—but the month she had has gone by already, and extra days will be needed again towards the end of the year for the final reconstruction surgery.

Exercises? Some days more than other days. With a return to “normal” it has been hard for her to build in time for regular post-surgery rehab exercise. In fact since she is not walking to work now she doesn’t get that either. For people like us the regular disciplines of life are some of the most difficult to maintain. We don’t eat on a schedule, don’t travel on a schedule, don’t play on a schedule, don’t sleep on a schedule (but usually it is at night!) and I guess work is the schedule—which we tend to put in to a lot of different time slots.

So, before heading back to “work” Deb managed to pull the 7,000 down to 6,000. The practice here is that when you don’t answer after a certain period of time, then an email is either too old to be of importance, forgotten by the sender, or the matter needing comment was resolved, ended or missed. I suggested that I could cause her computer to crash and it would be faster to just say “my computer crashed and I lost your email” but she figured that it would take more time to remember the 7,000 and write them the message than to sort through the stack. Probably after a week she is back to 6500.

We have had some very interesting visits from folks this past month. Some have been work-related and some have been reconstructing and building on long friendships. We are deeply privileged to have friends that understand and love crazy people like us. These are blessings of the Savior who walks with us in the valleys and on the mountains, and in the skies.
Two more sets of good friends expected in this week. It is a good thing that all our emails don't sit in the box unattended!