surgery vs. redemptive removal

Debbie is now scheduled for surgery on May 7. Of course there are several things that will happen at the same surgery time. The mastectomy, start of reconstruction, and since there is recovery time anyway, Deb is going forward with a recommended abdominal sling. This last is to repair the damage of bearing three children and the ravages of time. Doing one thing at a time would not be something we would consider :)

Yesterday was also a day to make further life divestments. I have been asked to vacate my office at NEGST, which means dealing with about a thousand books. The request is fully appropriate since I am not spending much time at NEGST these days and they need the space. But what to do? In God's providence in one day, He provided two schools that can use all the books I have both in Kenya and in Baltimore. One is a missionary training school in Eldoret Kenya. Thanks to some good friends rarely seen (Ray and Jill Davis) my Kenya library will be transferred over the next months. Thanks to a colleague here in Baltimore that traveled with me to Sri Lanka (Ananda Kumar) I have a home and transportation for the books that have been in Baltimore. These should be packed over the next week or so.

Many of these books have never been in the same room together--a bit like our lives that have been lived here and there. Many of the books came from Dad--who also does not need them now. Many I have collected over the years. They are sort of family and friends for me. Although I have not had the hours to curl up and read many of them, some of them have been read and used many times. Books, like their owners, grow old. Many of these are classics--but roaches have nested in them and silver fish have found a home. The bindings of some are broken and some need to be rebound. So reconstruction and recycling goes on. New purpose and new ideas come from old books that come from aging people. New visions of the kingdom in Kenya as Kenyan missionaries are trained. New biblical understanding for building a community of shalom in Sri Lanka where war has been destroying for decades.

So there is a certain sense of loss, but a more profound sense of thankfulness. Thankful that lives can be impacted by lifetimes of collection. Thankful that what decays, deteriorates or is diseased can have new opportunities and be life-giving. That is redemption.

And redemption is not just something to talk about. It is a purpose that God gives. Yes, we live in a fallen world with decay and disease. God is not the creator of that breakdown. But he is the creator of the new opportunities that come from brokenness.

Why does God "bring" or allow cancer into our lives? Why does He not speak into our aging bodies and leftovers of life and stop the decay or the disease or the conflicts? Because He intends redemption. Redemption requires things falling apart that I can't fix. God won't fix them either. Instead He redeems them by taking the old and making something new. That is better than a repair.

But redemption is not about recycling trash. I am paying three bills to move a dumpster of old concrete and plaster to be recycled from our "redemption house" next door. It is a good thing to not just fill our environment with junk. But redemption is about more than just recycling. It is about purpose, direction, and hope.

Won't you take a moment with us and think about redemption in your life? Imagine the old and broken stuff giving new life and opportunity. Removal of things gone wrong or old so that lives can be brought into the joy of God's shalom. The process is not easy, but is there any greater hope?

Deciding

Like the fiddler on the roof (aka Karl fiddling on the roof?), we have gone back and forth. On the one hand...but on the other....

So, the updates: Deb's MRI did not show anything, and her mamogram did not show anything. That is good news, but then neither of these imaging methods do very well in showing ductal carcinoma--which is why the biopsy was necessary in the first place. The good news is that things are probably contained in the ducts. But break-away cells might have gone down the tubes, so to speak. That is why a partial mastectomy would have to be followed by radiation therapy. Radiation therapy can have some nasty side effects, and still does not rule out other cancer cells forming in the future.

On the other hand, the total mastectomy option seems severe, but certain. In a life full of uncertainties, it looks like we are opting for what might be as certain as can be. Reconstruction process begins with the surgery. Surgery will possibly be scheduled in the next two weeks.

Meanwhile the guy fiddling on the roof is now on seizure medication. Hopefully he won't loose his head on the roof again

Seizure

I like the second dictionary meaning better than the first or the third. The first implies force. The third implies dysfunction. The second is just sort of in the range of normal activities. Like "grabbing a cup of coffee" or "seizing a moment of time".

In actual fact it seems that the result of my EEG was within the normal range, but there was an abnormality in one area of the brain. OK so it feels really good to be told I only have an abnormality in ONE area of the brain! That abnormality probably explains a memory lapse that I had a number of years ago in Kenya where I lost a couple of days, and again this past week where I lost only about 8 hours. But the neurologist still wants to put me on medication so that I can be free of such losses that he is calling "partial seizures". I guess that is like having only a half a cup of coffee, or half a moment of time?

Meanwhile until things get sorted out I am supposed to be restricted in driving and other things--like hanging out on rooftops.

We have also learned that the plastic surgeon Debbie went to for reconstruction is probably not a part of the PPO insurance program, so we get to start again with appointments.

Life is getting more interesting by the day. Just wait for tomorrow!